Life

I've always thought that I lead a perfectly normal life. It wasn't until recently that I realized that no one's life is normal; not even mine. Life is full of all this shit. I hate the shit that is going on in my life right now. I feel like all this shit is happening all at once.

I love my family. Sounds strange, but it's true. That's just my immediate family though. My uncles, aunt, grandmothers, they are a completely different story. Sure, they can be awesome. Lately though, they have all been at their worst. All their flaws have been affecting my family. My grandma, for example, is judgmental. She doesn't know how much she hurts us when she criticizes us. She's the best of them all though.

This kid at Central killed himself recently. I hate to say it, but I hate how people draw so much attention to these kids who take their lives. It's almost as if we're praising them, telling everyone that they were great and we'll miss them, telling everyone that if they kill themselves we'll praise you. For the kids who have no to few friends, it's like telling them "kill yourself, people will give you the attention you never get". Someone really close to me try to kill themself right after this happened by swallowing a bottle of pills. The recent they did it was because they don't have that many friends and they saw all the attention this kid got after he committed suicide, even by people who didn't really know or like him.

I've never really been someone to cry that easily, but lately, I've been a lot quieter. I feel really guilty when I'm having fun and happy. Life brings us to our knees sometimes. I'm on my knees right now.