random
yep. in case you couldn't tell those last few posts...from last year...were back-up roughdrafts for my comp class.
update. hm. it's summer. which means working. and the lake.
work. okay. i hate thursdays. i love my job, but on thursday it's our SRP (summer reading program) and that means we have anywhere from 200-500 kids in the alloted one hour, sometimes two hour, slot. it's just a little stressful. i just grit my teeth and suck it up, telling myself that as soon as i'm off on friday, i get to scoot off to the lake.
this year is much more interesting. at the lake. last week the neighbor's son had a few friends up so that was interesting. after listening to my parents and sherry, the woman who owns the cabin next to us, talk about what fireworks were like "back in the day", i decided to venture over to the wonderful world of chivalrous boyhood. those guys were pretty interesting once the mysterious water bottle was passed around. even though i'm older than them and i know it was probably the alcohol, it was nice to have guys seem generally interested in me and what i was saying.
and i also met the cutest girls ever. a couple doors over their are a couple of girls who are all around jenna's age. my favorite one, isn't that horrible to say but everyone always has a favorite whether they admit it or not, is this tiffany girl. she's sweet and kinda reminds me of myself growing up. she's a little more shy and anti-social then the others. she needs to be gently persuaded into things, but once she's involved, she's a light.
their is also this really sweet guy, because what story is good without one? i don't know him that well, and it's the summer so it's not like anything will happen. plus, i am not getting any vibes. i do suck at the whole "picking up vibes" thing though. i keep telling myself that it's summer and i'm really not that interested in him, and he'll be off to school at the end of summer, but i find myself hopelessly falling. it's not like my mother really helped. before i even came up to the lake my mom and sherry were building up this great guy and when i got there and actually saw that they weren't exacterating him, it was almost impossible not to develop a small, little, hopeless crush. doesn't really help matters that he's the uncle to the little girls i adore....
wow. i sure missed you blogspot. where have you been. no, where have i been. freedom is blogspot. none of my close friends read this and it's such a freeing thing.
so i'm scared for tomorrow. e, my ex, and i are going to get ice cream and pizza. i want to look great to show him what he's missing. i no longer have feelings for him, but still, who doesn't want their ex to drool when they walk in the door? i just want to say, hey, thanks for breaking up with me, because it made me more of the person i am. i can't believe it took me so long to get over this guy. i said no. maybe that's why. because i was dumped for being me. i'd never been dumped before, but i had never been completly honest with a boyfriend either. i became their dreamgirl, i became the person they wanted me to be. not with e. no, i started to fall into that trap and when i got the nerve to say "hey, we should end this because this isn't me. you want that girl and i'm not her", he played that smooth line "i don't care about all that stuff" and dumped me a week later.
why is it that some guys cannot be broken up with? why must they do the dumping? it made me stronger. i started my new relationships off with a rough "hello, my name is sara tezel, and what you see is what you freaking get. i like to eat. a lot. i love every type of music you can dish out. i laugh at the most random things. and say the wrong things at the worst time. i have problems getting physically close to people. i'm uncomfortable with my body. i love to read and write more than anything. i feel best when i'm making people laugh. and i love to hold hands. i'm trying to cut back on my swearing and be a generally good and honest person."
poor little blogspot. you are second best. i had forgotten about you, as i mentioned before. i cannot find my story because i'm really in the mood to write and it's driving me crazy. i have overcome my writer's block, but cannot rememeber where i left off. i have to throw out my last two chapters after my dream last night. the characters were headed in the wrong direction.
i think i had a total of six dreams last night, at least that i remember. i remember reading somewhere that most people have about fourteen dreams or something. i'm happy i'm one of those people that is blessed and can remember their dreams. those who do not dream, do not have much. what it must be like to wake up with a blank slate. without a thousand and three ideas running through their head. their is nothing better than waking up from a fantasy. from something you want so badly you can taste it but no you cannot have. to be able to live that dream out, even in the slightest possible way is truely a gift.
wow. tangant. sorry. nice to be back.
update. hm. it's summer. which means working. and the lake.
work. okay. i hate thursdays. i love my job, but on thursday it's our SRP (summer reading program) and that means we have anywhere from 200-500 kids in the alloted one hour, sometimes two hour, slot. it's just a little stressful. i just grit my teeth and suck it up, telling myself that as soon as i'm off on friday, i get to scoot off to the lake.
this year is much more interesting. at the lake. last week the neighbor's son had a few friends up so that was interesting. after listening to my parents and sherry, the woman who owns the cabin next to us, talk about what fireworks were like "back in the day", i decided to venture over to the wonderful world of chivalrous boyhood. those guys were pretty interesting once the mysterious water bottle was passed around. even though i'm older than them and i know it was probably the alcohol, it was nice to have guys seem generally interested in me and what i was saying.
and i also met the cutest girls ever. a couple doors over their are a couple of girls who are all around jenna's age. my favorite one, isn't that horrible to say but everyone always has a favorite whether they admit it or not, is this tiffany girl. she's sweet and kinda reminds me of myself growing up. she's a little more shy and anti-social then the others. she needs to be gently persuaded into things, but once she's involved, she's a light.
their is also this really sweet guy, because what story is good without one? i don't know him that well, and it's the summer so it's not like anything will happen. plus, i am not getting any vibes. i do suck at the whole "picking up vibes" thing though. i keep telling myself that it's summer and i'm really not that interested in him, and he'll be off to school at the end of summer, but i find myself hopelessly falling. it's not like my mother really helped. before i even came up to the lake my mom and sherry were building up this great guy and when i got there and actually saw that they weren't exacterating him, it was almost impossible not to develop a small, little, hopeless crush. doesn't really help matters that he's the uncle to the little girls i adore....
wow. i sure missed you blogspot. where have you been. no, where have i been. freedom is blogspot. none of my close friends read this and it's such a freeing thing.
so i'm scared for tomorrow. e, my ex, and i are going to get ice cream and pizza. i want to look great to show him what he's missing. i no longer have feelings for him, but still, who doesn't want their ex to drool when they walk in the door? i just want to say, hey, thanks for breaking up with me, because it made me more of the person i am. i can't believe it took me so long to get over this guy. i said no. maybe that's why. because i was dumped for being me. i'd never been dumped before, but i had never been completly honest with a boyfriend either. i became their dreamgirl, i became the person they wanted me to be. not with e. no, i started to fall into that trap and when i got the nerve to say "hey, we should end this because this isn't me. you want that girl and i'm not her", he played that smooth line "i don't care about all that stuff" and dumped me a week later.
why is it that some guys cannot be broken up with? why must they do the dumping? it made me stronger. i started my new relationships off with a rough "hello, my name is sara tezel, and what you see is what you freaking get. i like to eat. a lot. i love every type of music you can dish out. i laugh at the most random things. and say the wrong things at the worst time. i have problems getting physically close to people. i'm uncomfortable with my body. i love to read and write more than anything. i feel best when i'm making people laugh. and i love to hold hands. i'm trying to cut back on my swearing and be a generally good and honest person."
poor little blogspot. you are second best. i had forgotten about you, as i mentioned before. i cannot find my story because i'm really in the mood to write and it's driving me crazy. i have overcome my writer's block, but cannot rememeber where i left off. i have to throw out my last two chapters after my dream last night. the characters were headed in the wrong direction.
i think i had a total of six dreams last night, at least that i remember. i remember reading somewhere that most people have about fourteen dreams or something. i'm happy i'm one of those people that is blessed and can remember their dreams. those who do not dream, do not have much. what it must be like to wake up with a blank slate. without a thousand and three ideas running through their head. their is nothing better than waking up from a fantasy. from something you want so badly you can taste it but no you cannot have. to be able to live that dream out, even in the slightest possible way is truely a gift.
wow. tangant. sorry. nice to be back.
posted by Stezie @ 11:47 PM
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