i lie.

about random things. that no one really cares about. i lie. and then i don't tell the truth because i don't know why i lied in the first place. i think i'm addicted to lying. plus pride. i have too much pride to tell someone i lied. i need to work on those.

today i lied about as much as usual. i told someone i was ambredextrious, and i'm really not. i mean, i am to a certain point, but when it comes to writing and other things like that, i can't.

i lied about having another blog. i don't know why. it really wasn't that big of a deal. i think that sometimes with this blog i feel like i can't be myself because people i know read it. i lied to myself and told myself, and then all you reader people, that i did have a safe place to vent.

i lied to my boss. this one isn't unusual.

i lied to myself. it's something i've been doing lately. i lie to myself to make myself feel better. i lie to myself because i want to be the person i pretend to be.

i lie when it comes to how much i lie. i lie at least fifteen times a day. sometimes it's in my head. sometimes i'll think, "sara, you don't feel that way" and then i'll start thinking "yes you do, you have to, if you don't, you're not normal".

dustin asked me if i was bi-polar the other day. i think i have a split personality. i don't know sometimes. i hate myself so much sometimes and other times i feel great. sometimes when i'm feeling great, i tell myself how horrible i am. i beat myself dow