song followed by explanation.

There's a story that my daddy tells religiously
Like clockwork every time he sees an opening
In a conversation about the way things used to be
Well I'd just roll my eyes and make a bee-line for the door
But I'd always wind up starry-eyed, cross-legged on the floor
Hanging on to every word
Man, the things I heard
It was harder times and longer days
Five miles to school, uphill both ways
We were cane switch raised, and dirt floor poor
'Course that was back before the war
Yeah, your uncle and I made quite a pair
Flying F-15's through hostile air
He went down but they missed me by a hair
He'd always stop right there and say...
That's something to be proud of
That's a life you can hang your hat on
That's a chin held high as the tears fall down
A gut sucked in, a chest stuck out
Like a small town flag a-flyin'
Or a newborn baby cryin'
In the arms of the woman that you love
That's something to be proud of
So I'm graduatin' college, that was mama's dream
But I was on my way to anywhere else when I turned 18
Cuz when you gotta fast car you think you've got everything
I learned quick those GTO's don't run on faith
I ended up broken down in some town north of L.A.
Working maximum hours for minimum wage
Well, I fell in love, next thing I know
The babies came, the car got slow
I sure do miss that old hot rod
But you sure save gas in them foreign jobs
Dad, I wonder if I ever let you down
If you're ashamed how I turned out
Well, he lowered his voice, then he raised his brow
Said, lemme tell ya right now
That's something to be proud of
That's a life you can hang your hat on
You don't need to make a million
Just be thankful to be workin'
If you're doing what you're able
And putting food there on the table
And providing for the family that you love
That's something to be proud of
And if all you ever really do is the best you can
Well, you did it man
That's something to be proud of
That's a life you can hang your hat on
That's a chin held high as the tears fall down
A gut sucked in, a chest stuck out
Like a small town flag a-flyin'
Or a newborn baby cryin'
In the arms of the woman that you love
That's something to be proud of
That's something to be proud of
Yeah, that's something to be proud of
That's something to be proud of
Now that's something to be proud of

i heard this song on the radio the other day and it made me think "where am i going in my life".

that question can be a great question, or a horrible one.

i haven't volunteered at the nursing home for over two years because i'm scared to go back. it used to be like my second home. i knew almost all the residents names and room numbers (i helped with mail sometimes so it came in handy). i'm really scared to go back. working at a nursing home, if you're like me, you get close to people. i became really close with four ladies. my favorite was the one that kept me coming back. her name was dorothy.

i used to visit and talk with dorothy every time i went to the nursing home, which used to be almost everyday. i would help bring dorothy to lunch or the "socialization" room (huge room overlooking a field. full of tables, games, movies, other assorted things). i would paint her nails. on nice days, dorothy and i would take the elevator down and go sit in the front and talk and watch people come and go. she had the voice that i would describe as sandpaper and syrup. you'd understand if you could hear it. if i missed more than a day or two, dorothy would forget who i was. what we talked about. wonder how i knew about her family coming up. it was heartbreaking. i'd go back everyday so she's remember me. then one day, my mom was dropping me off and she asked if i knew this lady named margaret ******. i said i did because she was always trying to get out of her wheelchair and this alarm would go off so i'd sit and let her read the newspaper to me. my mom told me she passes away the night before and that she saw it had been at valley 4000 (nursing home i was volunteering at). i started crying in the parking lot. that's the hard part about being at a nursing home. these people are old. they do die. i guess i don't want to go back, because she most likely passed on. it'll be too hard. i want to go back though.

they were so understaffed. the first day i volunteered i didn't want to go back. i wasn't even supposed to volunteer there. someone was helping me choose and i picked this place with 5 live in residents, all with serious set-backs. one lady was deaf so i learned some sign language to communicate with her, but the lady who was helping me said that they needed me more at Valley 4000, so she placed me there.

this song makes me want to do something with my life. i told me dad that if i can run the mile and a half under the required military time, i'm going to join when i turn 18. maybe not as a career, but for four years or so.

i want to help people before i die. be remembered for changing, bettering lives. i don't want to be a teacher though. people say teacher's better lives, and they do. that's not how i want to go about it. i want to defend our country. i want to go to africa and provide medical care for poor children and their families living in slums. i want to build houses for the homeless. i want to take care of the elderly. i want to save a life. i want to make a difference.

i want to make a difference.